What is emotional dependency disorder?
Emotional dependency disorder has been conceptualized by various authors. De la Villa and Sirvent (2009) describe it as addictive behavior towards interpersonal relationships , characterized by an asymmetrical role and a dependent attitude towards the dependent person; and Castelló (2000) defines it as a persistent pattern of unmet emotional needs that are maladaptively addressed through interaction with other people.
In line with other disorders, emotional dependency lies at one end of a continuum based on an adaptive trait, which in this case is interpersonal attachment. This disorder can negatively affect the quality of life of those who suffer from it, as it can cause a range of interpersonal and psychological problems.
Characteristics of emotional dependency disorder
A number of traits or characteristics have been identified as components of emotional dependency disorder, based on theoretical concepts and clinical observations. According to various authors (Castelló, 2000, 2005; Schaeffer, 1998; González-Bueso, 2011), people with emotional dependency have an excessive need for approval , prefer exclusive relationships, and demand the other person's continuous availability.
It has also been observed that these individuals experience excessive euphoria and unrealistic expectations about romantic relationships , which can lead to submission or subservience to their partner, even in situations where they are shown contempt or humiliation. All of this appears to be related to a fear of losing the relationship and the resulting feelings of abandonment and loneliness.
How to manage jealousy in a relationship
On the other hand, although it has traditionally been believed that emotional dependency is a more frequent problem in women, as indicated by the number of clinical consultations, a study carried out in the last decade by González-Jiménez and Hernández-Romera (2014) found that, in the secondary school student population, this phenomenon is present in both sexes in the same proportion.
Risk factors for emotional dependency disorder
Regarding risk factors, according to some clinical studies, the socio-familial background of people with emotional dependency could act as vulnerability factors, if they have suffered or may be suffering emotional or physical abuse in their family or social environment , both from direct relatives and from romantic partners. (Castelló, 2000; de la Villa and Sirvent, 2009).
This disorder can affect emotional well-being and make it difficult to establish healthy and satisfying relationships with other people.
Another risk factor is the presence of a psychopathological profile in the dependent person associated with emotional dependency disorder . Specifically, Castelló (2005) identifies depression and anxiety as the most frequent comorbidities in these individuals, which are generally related to fear of separation or loss of the relationship and loneliness, as well as personality disorders and substance abuse .
Furthermore, other authors suggest that behaviors such as separation anxiety and the constant search for affection from their partner can lead these individuals to experience heightened anxiety and feelings of inferiority (Lemos & Londoño, 2006). Some authors point out certain characteristics of people with dependency disorder (Castelló, 2005; González-Jiménez & Hernández-Romera, 2014; Schaeffer, 1998; Villa & Sirvent, 2008; 2009):
- They experience fear of loneliness.
- They have a low tolerance for frustration and boredom,
- They feel an emotional void.
- They have self-destructive desires and suicidal thoughts or attempts.
- They have low self-esteem and a negative self-concept that does not reflect reality.
Protective factors against emotional dependency
Protective factors are those elements or strategies that can help prevent or mitigate the onset or development of this disorder. Some important protective factors include:
- Self-esteem and self-confidence . Strong self-esteem and healthy self-confidence can help a person maintain their identity and autonomy in relationships. This involves valuing oneself and recognizing that one does not need constant approval from others to feel valid and valuable.
- Social support network . Having a support network made up of friends, family, or other loved ones can provide a system of emotional and social support. These people can offer objective perspectives, encouragement, and emotional stability, which helps counteract emotional dependency.
- Personal autonomy. Fostering independence and autonomy is fundamental. This involves developing personal interests and hobbies, setting personal goals, and making one's own decisions. Focusing on personal growth can help reduce the need to depend on others for emotional fulfillment.
- Self-awareness and self-reflection . Taking the time to explore and understand your own emotions, needs, and relationship patterns is essential. Self-reflection allows you to identify and address potential issues of emotional dependency and work on personal growth.
- Therapy and professional support . Seeking help from a therapist or mental health professional specializing in emotional dependency disorder can be very beneficial. Therapy can provide tools and strategies to address dependency patterns, develop healthy coping skills, and strengthen self-esteem.
Self-esteem as the foundation of good mental health
It's important to keep in mind that protective factors can vary from person to person and depending on the situation. If you experience symptoms of emotional dependency, it's crucial to seek help from a mental health professional who can provide an appropriate diagnosis and the support you need to overcome this situation.
Finally, it's important to remember that this disorder can affect emotional well-being and hinder the ability to establish healthy and fulfilling relationships with others. Therefore, it is crucial to continue researching this mental health condition in order to develop effective therapies and improve the quality of life for those who experience it.
